Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 22-year-old final year university student. I belong to a very conservative family where love marriages are frowned upon. But I have fallen in love with a boy, who graduated from my university a year back, and we have been going steady for 2 years now. My parents, however, want to get me married off to someone of their consent, and are on the lookout for eligible men. My boyfriend has a steady job, and is ready to settle down but we are scared that if my parents get to know, they'll not agree to the alliance and cut all ties with me. I am in desperate need of some help.

Desperate
Dear Desperate,
There will always be obstacles in the way of love. But if your love is true, if you both really that believe that you have found your soul mates in each other then such obstacles should not matter. Be bold in your belief and conviction, try to convince your parents, leave no stone unturned to make them understand that this is the right person for you. However, if they still don't understand then go ahead, do what your heart tells you and don't be afraid.

Dear Mita,
I am 18 years old, and the only daughter of my parents. My parents are very loving and caring but they can be overprotective sometimes. I will be graduating from school this year, and so thought of applying to universities both home and abroad. Surprisingly, I got acceptance letters from two of the foreign universities that I applied to, and one of them is even willing to give me partial scholarship. I told my parents that but instead of being happy, they became worried and refused to allow me to study abroad. How can I convince my parents that this is a great opportunity for me that I can't miss?

Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
Your parents are over protective but want the best for you. It is up to you to convince them that you are old and mature enough to go and study abroad. Talk to a relative, some aunt or uncle or even friends that they trust, maybe they might be able to make them understand. Parents can change their minds, just be persistent but respectful. Try to see things from their perspective, make them believe somehow that you will be safe and happy if you go abroad.

Dear Mita,
I am a 30-year-old single woman, and am having an affair with my married boss. I know nothing good can come out of this but I am in love with this man. But lately, my guilt is overpowering my love, and I want to break it off with him. No one in my family or amongst my friends know of this affair, and so I can't ask anyone for advice. I am doing very well in my current job, and don't want to leave it. So how do I tell him that I want to break up with him for good without letting it affect my job? Please help.

Guilty
Dear Guilty,
This is very good that you have come to your senses and realized that nothing good will come of it. It is also a positive thing that no one else knows about it yet. In this situation honesty is the best policy. Talk to him and tell him that you want to break it off. You have to do it in such a way that he is convinced that this decision is in the best for both of you.  Continuing in your present job might be difficult. For the time being it might be okay but eventually you should look for another one.