Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
My husband and I live in a really nice apartment. However, my shashur-shashuri have recently announced that they want to die in our apartment. They want us to move elsewhere and live in our place long enough to die in it. They don't even want to live with us. They've lived in New Jersey for the last 40 years and just moved back. Suburban Jersey, but it's still no Patuakhali. I want to say straight up that I will not go to the police with this because it's just not a police matter. My in-laws have never tried to kill me physically – they usually rely on curses. That's not criminal, just mean and crazy. How do I tell my husband that his parents are Voldemort? I don't know WHY he likes his parents, they're pretty horrible to him too. I'm 35; will I find a nice husband with a nice apartment at my age to remarry? Thanks for your help!
 
35-year-old divorcee to be
Dear Divorcee to be,
Hope this will not lead to divorce, simply because it is not worth it. Just calm down and think strategically. You are only 35 and might still find a nice husband with a nice apartment but why leave what you already have and then depend on luck? I am sure between the two of you a solution can be found. First set some ground rules and stick to those. Curses are not allowed and no exchange of mean and unkind words will be tolerated. Ask your husband to find them an even nicer apartment than yours. You know what? Have a baby! I bet then you will not be asked to move. If there is any problem then adopt one. However, have a heart for your husband; after all they are his parents, how can he completely ignore their wishes.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 19-year-old girl in love with a 20-year-old man. We have been together for around two years, and are very much in love. My family was against our relationship from the beginning, and my father tried his best to keep us apart, but somehow we managed to get over all that. His family, on the other hand, accepted me from the go. However, they recently learnt about the things my father did to break our relationship and have warned my boyfriend to stay away from me. In fact, they have presented him with an ultimatum that is to either leave me or them. Close relatives have tried to speak to them but they are not ready to budge from their decision. This had been going on for more than a month, and finally we were forced to break up. I could not accept this, and even attempted suicide, but my family rescued me at the last moment. My boyfriend (I don't want to call him an ex) and I met a few days back, and we are both desperately searching for a solution. I'm really frustrated and don't know what to do. I'm considering suicide if I can't be with him. I know we're young and should concentrate on our careers at the moment but I can't seem to concentrate on anything at the moment. Please help.
Want-to-die
Dear Want to Die,
Well, please don't die because this is no reason to do so. I am trying hard to understand your problem. Both of you are young; you have many things to accomplish before you get into a permanent relationship. For the time being just go about your normal business without making a big public thing out of it. Talk to him, meet him once in a while, write to each other; I am sure no one can stop you for doing this. You both are getting too worried about this, please take a break and let things roll as they are. Your or his parents cannot constantly monitor your activities. A time will come when they will tire out and let things be. Therefore don't push the matter unnecessarily.

Dear Mita,
I am a 13-year-old girl and am deeply in love with a boy of my class. He loves me too, and told me as such. But I tried to forget him in fear of my parents who are extremely strict. I known you will probably suggest that I get over it but I truly can't. What should I do?
Stuck
Dear Stuck,
If you want to be in love at the age of 13, that's fine. Just remember there is a world beyond love at this age. That world is about friendships, fun, studies and learning. Enjoy all that and still if you want to be in love, that's fine.