Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a teenager. I have a best friend who I think cares for me and loves me as much as I love her. But she is a good friend to everyone in our class. Whenever I ask her to reveal the secrets of her other friends, she avoids the topic, stating that she can't do that. Is she really a good friend?
Undecided
Dear Undecided,
I do think she is a good friend. Revealing secrets that is not concerned with you is not a mark of true friendship. She prefers not to talk about other people's secrets because she perhaps does not want you to get involved in unpleasant things. You should judge her sincerity towards you in different ways, such as, does she support and help when you need it, does she go out of her way to defend you when others are not being nice, does she help you with you studies etc. I believe you have a good friend so don't let such petty things come in the way of your friendship.  

Dear Mita,
I am a 16-year old girl. I have known this guy, who lives abroad, from the last six months. He is much older than me; I think he will be at least 25-years-old. I think of him as a good friend, but am not romantically attracted to him. He, on the other hand, says that he is madly in love with me. I have made it clear that I don't see him in that way but he starts hurling accusations at me whenever I say that, and does not even talk to me properly when I tell him that I just want him to be friends. I have tried to avoid him but for some reason I am unable to do so. He seems like a nice and genuine guy and I would love to remain friends with him. I am absolutely sure that I am not in love with him. I don't want to complicate my life with such unnecessary issues as I want to focus on my studies and make my parents proud. But I also don't want to lose a friend like him. I am really looking forward to getting a solution from you since you are my last hope. I have asked several of my friends and relatives but they say that I should accept the fact that I love him. Please help.
Confused
Dear Confused,
Well, I don't want to say that you should accept the fact that you love him. Rather I want to say that if he cannot accept you as a friend then you should learn to stay away from him. He is anyway too old for you; he needs a serious relationship and you need to study, have fun, enjoy life and think of your future career. I don't see any match between you two; moreover, he seems like an immature person who is trying to persuade a 16-year-old to fall in love with him. Please seek friendship elsewhere. I am sure there are many boys close to your age who would like to be friends with you. Let him go his way and find what he is looking for.

Dear Mita,
My husband died in an accident around four years back. I am a 35-year-old single mother of two with a full-time job and another job where I work part-time. I need both these jobs as they provide for my family, and to be honest I have always enjoyed working at both these places. But now I feel tired. I think I need some time out, but am anxious about finances. I also feel that if I quit one job, I'll not be able to gather the strength to get back to working two jobs at a time if need be. What do I do?
Exhausted
Dear Exhausted,
We all feel exhausted at times. This must be more acute for you as you not only have to provide for the family but bear the psychological burden of being a single mother of two. Parenting by itself is challenging but to do it alone is extremely difficult. My congratulations for facing life with such courage and fortitude. Regarding taking off from one of your jobs, I would not advise it at this moment, specially since you need the money. You have to learn to relax somehow; you could try yoga, go on a holiday with friends, get into reading circles, pursue some hobby  such as painting, singing etc. Finally, you are only 35, life is long and you need a partner, everyone does. I know this is a very difficult issue but you have to start thinking about it.